It looks like the big news today is the brand-spanking new Collective Bargaining Agreement that the NFL Player’s Association and owners have come to terms with. With a new football season on the horizon (hopefully), I am here to cash in on the hype with a quick anecdote.
A man and his wife were laying in bed one night about to fall asleep, when the man ripped an enormous, deep fart. The woman bolted upright and demanded, “What the hell was that?!” The guy turned his head toward her and matter-of-factly stated, “Fart football. I’m winning 7-0.” The woman, disgusted, laid back down and tried to put the thought out of her mind. A minute or so later there was another eruption, only this time it was the man who was left wondering what had just happened! When he inquired about the noise that just shook their bed, his wife calmly replied, “Tie game. 7 all.” At this point, the man knew it was on. He refused to be beaten. So he forced out a little squeaker and declared that he was again winning, 10-7. His wife was definitely grossed out, but roped into the game by now, so she committed herself and took the lead a minute later 14-10. The man’s ego, refusing to be denied, was a little bruised, but he knew he could pull out the W. As the guy laid there, he took in a deep breath, held it in, flexed his abdominals and let it rip, instantly crapping all over himself and the bed. The woman looked at him completely repulsed and demanded to know what that was all about, to which he retorted, “Halftime. Now we switch sides!”
One thing I know for certain that I can count on this season is the NCAA for all of my football needs. The NFL would be a bonus, but at least the sport will be played in at least one way or another. My beloved Ball State Cardinals will be more than enough to keep my interest on America’s new past-time – if that even makes sense…”NEW past-time?”
Thank you, that is all.